Unsociable…

… that is how I feel some times. Been trying to think back, way back in time to remember if I’ve always been like this, and I think so.

I also were a very shy child, so I think that has been a part of it. But then again, I’ve always had many friends actually! So it is kind of strange… In my early teenage years actually some of my friends were fighting of who could be with me and do something lol. But that was OFF school and they were younger than me.

In school I had a few friends but will admit I always felt a bit like an outsider cause in school I were very shy and insecure…

But going back to NOW, I still have many friends. Many I do know  for many years and I think they are pretty close. I have a few that are more close and I feel I can open up to them which is nice.

Still some days I just drift away, and that means from the computer and phone. I guess we all need some “me-time” to ponder about things, take a break or what ever. But lately I have felt more need to do that and I wonder why? Am I starting to get unsociable? Nah, I really do not think so, but who knows.

Were thinking deeper about it the other day, and could it be like so that I’ve been hurted many times in my life, both from ex bf’s and friends been backstabbing me too, so maybe I am in a way thinking better that I leave first before anyone else leave me?

Sometimes I think I just think too much!! But that’s just who I am…

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2 thoughts on “Unsociable…

  1. Yeah, that’s complicated stuff. We all need «me time», for sure. Perhaps it is as simple as you feel more relaxed now … allowing yourself to stop and reflect. It’s a good thing. You’ve had so much on your plate, and probably still do, but one, big chunk was at least taken away. I said to G. just the other day, what a relief it must be for you! I can so put myself in that situation.

    I don’t know if I was shy … I don’t think that’s the right word, but I kept to myself most of the time, preferred my own company, except my one, best friend [she still is]. Life has its phases, and in my 20’s to …. let’s say 35, I was extremely social. When I look back on that period, it’s like «was that really me?!» I really mean extremely … I had lots of people over for dinner parties, I was out almost every night, in bars, and the phone was ringing off the hook. It’s unbelievable now!

    Regardless of that period, I’ve never felt I fitted in anywhere … always felt like an alien.

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  2. Thanks for the comment Rebekah!!

    Yeah you’re right, I do feel more relaxed now than Before. But of course I still have my worries about other things. Especially about my son… But a huge weight were taken off me, that is for sure! 🙂

    I still have my moments when I enjoy being around people. Most of the times I am for myself though, well except for son of course.

    In my past I never had dinner parties. I have had friends over and we had a meal of course, but it was usually a lunch. And I’ve only been out to a bar once! LOL On the other hand I’ve been to a few other parties with friends, but that was a short period in my Life.

    Well we got something else in common! Me too have also had this feeling that I never felt I fitted in anywhere… When I Think about school, I did have a few friends but really had no best friend there. My best friend during schooltime were someone younger than me and lived closed to my home.

    Today I do have a few friends that I feel are closer and that is nice to have! Still I do need my “me-time” now and then. Just do not want to you know isolate myself too much! But I am sure friends AND family won’t let me do that! Then they’ll drag me back again lol

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